Effik was born long ago into a small village of Gnostic Vikings based in the north of a mountainous country. The Gnostics tried to live a simple life and believed in always telling the truth, but they were suffering, as King Griff the Somewhat Bad demanded 40% of everything they earned.

So Effik went to Griff and said: "Why do you treat us so badly? Do you not see that by sharing and working together we could all be better off and you would no longer be regarded as a no good, useless drain on society."

Telling the truth can sometimes hurt and once Effik's bruises healed, Griff forced him into a life of servitude from which Effik immediately started to plan his escape. Effik met others who had been forced into servitude and tried to impress upon them that they should see the positive side of their experiences and meditate upon how servitude had enriched their lives.

The beating Effik received for that didn't stop him telling the others about the land of Angels, a place of peace and plenty over the sea. Bit by bit a plan emerged - they would build a boat from the matches used to light Griff's candles each night and sail to the land of Angels. One of the Welsh Vikings, Di Esel, had found that by using a dark and smelly liquid from under the earth in a large machine, it was possible to make boats go without oars or wind. He named the machine Di Esel's Ingenuity, which over time was shortened to Diesel Ingine.

Effik was worried that the smoke from Diesel's Ingine would blot out the sun and kill everything, and although the others thought he was dotty they did agree to use sail to slip away quietly on the night they were ready, after all, they didn't want Griff the Getting Rather More Evil to know they were running away.

On the long journey over the sea, Effik held 'Groups' - he was sure the Vikings had a chance to start a new community based on the four Gnostic principles of Peace, Simplicity, Truth and Equality. By the time they landed, Effik was sure the others had accepted the Gnostic way of life and would support each other, sharing their doubts and fears. Here, in the land of Angels, they would build a new heaven on earth.

A few days after they had established their camp, a Viking called Fawkes told Effik they had all been invited to a party with the neighbouring Angels. "Great" said Effik, "What should we take? Wine? Food? Presents?" Effik was somewhat surprised when Fawkes told him this was the kind of party where they would only be taking, not giving.

What an evening! The Angels didn't seem very pleased to meet the Vikings, and liked it even less when the Gnostics set fire to their houses. Effik wasn't happy. Only his friends seemed to be enjoying themselves, the Angels all wanted to leave early. And playing 'hunt the villagers and bash them' wasn't the sort of party game Effik liked. So the next day Effik, who still had a lot to learn, visited the Angels to talk to them.

Effik's new bruises healed soon enough but he was distraught - what had he done? He'd brought evil to the land of Angels. His Viking companions certainly weren't Gnostic, in fact he believed they were really closet Awful Vikings and he wanted no more to do with them. In fact, Griff the Really, Really Bad and Horrid would have been proud of them.

Deeply troubled, Effik wandered the country talking to religious leaders but all they had to offer was guilt and taxes. He talked to politicians, but they didn't even offer guilt, just taxes. Then one day he happened upon a small village that changed his life. The villagers suffered with a strange infection that turned your nose upside down for five minutes if you lied, cheated, stole or didn't offer good value. Consequently, all the villagers had to be honest in their dealings with each other, or the whole village would know.

Outsiders shunned the village, fearing that if the infection escaped it would cause havoc in the business world. But Effik thought it was wonderful, realising the infection forced the villagers to live by the four Gnostic principles. He settled here and wrote a book called "infesting effikally".

The book was a huge success and soon lots of people were trying to live by the four Gnostic principles. But it was hard for them as they weren't infected, they needed support and advice. Soon "infesting effikally" consultants - people trained in offering advice about how to infest effikally - began opening little offices where effikal infestment consultants would meet to offer advice and support to people who wanted a better life for all, or to those who's infestments weren't doing so well.

And so, many, many years later, here we are - direct descendents of Effik and one of the few companies that specialise in effikal infestments. We still believe in the four principles of Peace, Simplicity, Truth and Equality and try to apply them in all we do.